Cold As You
by tiedyedseashells
Summary: Doctor's work was his life, and no one could change that. Claire only realized that when it was just too late.


Cold As You

Doctor's work was his life, and no one could change that. Claire only realized that when it was just too late.

-

Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or the song Cold As You by Taylor Swift.

-

I'm sorry that I fell for you.

I'm sorry, really, that I ever fell for you.

Why?

Because I know now that you could never love anyone else.

You could only love your work, and only your work.

There was no space in your life for anyone else, not for me, not for Elli, not for anyone.

And I'm sorry for thinking that you could have ever let me into it.

But it's too late to say that now, isn't it?

But you know what really makes me sorry that I ever fell for you?

No matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving you.

-

It was my second day here that I saw you.

You were at the Clinic, as usual, working behind your desk.

I don't know what it was about you that drew me to you.

There was just something so insanely… Different about you.

It set you apart from everyone else, and I felt that I just had to get to know you.

Well, what else can I say?

You had me hooked.

-

Even now, I still think you're different from everyone.

Even though you broke me, broke my heart, I can't help but think that way.

There's just something about you that makes you undeniably, well, you.

And that's just one of things that I still love about you.

-

The moment I spoke to you, I was absolutely sure that you were special.

Your voice had something about it that was just so… Unique.

I still remember what you said to me when I first spoke to you.

"I'm working right now, can you come back later?"

That should have been my first clue.

But I guess I was just too blind to see it.

-

"_I'm working right now, can you come back later?"_

Yes, that's what you said to me.

I suppose you didn't mean for it to hurt, since you wouldn't have known better.

But it did, _Trent_, it did.

-

Everyone in the village called you Doctor, and I found it sad that no one called you by your real name.

So I tried to find out what it was.

"So, Doctor, what's your real name?"

"Hmm? My real name? Just call me Doctor."

"Doctor? But that's so impersonal! Seriously, don't you have a name?"

"I do, but I don't want anyone calling me by it."

"Why not?"

"I just don't. Now, I have work to do, so could you come back later?"

-

You would never tell anyone your real name.

And to you, I would always just be anyone.

Now, I know why you never wanted to tell anyone what it was.

Telling someone would mean getting close to them, sharing a part of you that no one else knew.

And that was something you would never do.

-

"So… Tomorrow's the Harvest Goddess Festival, Doctor."

"Mhmm… Would you like something, Claire?"

"Were you… Well, planning on taking someone?"

Looking at me exasperated, as if I had done something wrong, you sighed.

"I have a lot of work I need to have done by tomorrow. Now, is there anything else you need?"  
-

Work, work, work.

Everything was always about your work.

No matter how hard I tried, I could never, and would never, measure up to it.

I'd change how I looked, change how I spoke, change every single thing about me.

But it never mattered to you.

All that mattered was your damn work.

-

It was Autumn when I saw you sitting by the lake at Mother's Hill.

"Doctor? Why are you sitting here all by yourself?"

You were crying.

"Doctor?"

Sitting down next to you, I could see the tears falling from your eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"N… Nothing. It's nothing."

"Tell me what's wrong, Doctor."

"It's just… my parents died on this day 10 years ago."

"…I see."

"It's really nothing. I shouldn't be crying like this."

"…You know, it's okay to cry. There's nothing wrong with letting it all out once in a while."

"…Thank you, Claire," you said to me as you got up and started to walk off.

"Where are you going?"

"…I have work to do."

Staring at the lake, I sat there by myself, thinking about what I'd just learned.

It was the first time I'd ever seen you show emotions.

…

Suddenly, your voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"By the way Claire, my name's Trent."

-

That was the first time that I'd ever seen you show any emotions.

It was the first time I saw you care about something other than your work.

And that gave me hope that maybe, one day, you would care about me.

Maybe, just maybe.

But that's all it was.

'Just' maybe.

-

"Trent, can I ask you something?"

"Claire, please don't call me that. Just call me Doctor."

…What?

"What do you mean?"

"I'd prefer it if you called me Doctor."

"Why?"

"Just because."

"…Okay…"

"Now, what did you need?"

"Erm, the Full Moon Festival's coming up… I was wondering…"

"Claire, I have work to do."

-

Every time I tried to invite you to something, you would use your work as an excuse.

Every time I tried to get closer to you, you used your work as an excuse.

Work, work, work.

Everything would always, always be about your work.

And not even I could change that.

-

"Hey Doctor, why do you always have to work?"

"What?"

"You know, I've never seen you not working. Even on your days off, you go to Mother's Hill to collect herbs for work."

"…Claire, when I chose to go into this profession, I knew what it entailed, which was giving it all you had. Many lives depend on it, and I have to live up to this expectation."

"…I see."

-

It was then that I realized that your work would always be your life.

You loved it, and only it.

Your life had no space for anyone else.

No one, and no one, would ever be a part of your life.

-

"Hey Doctor, wanna go to Mother's Hill?"

"Sorry?"

"Mother's Hill. Like, an outing?"

"Claire, I have work to do. Could you ask someone else?"

"Come on, Doctor. You always have work to do. Can't you take a break today?"

Staring at me, your eyes looked so cold.

I'd never seen you look so unfeeling, and it hurt.

"Claire, listen to me. I. Have. Work. That. I. Need. To. Do. Please leave now."

-  
That was the second time I'd ever seen you show emotions.

It was the closest you ever came to being angry, and it hurt that I was the one who did that.

I'm sorry, _Trent_.

I'm sorry I couldn't see why you could never love me.

-

"Trent, I need to talk to you."

"Doctor. It's Doctor."

"No. Trent, I need to tell you something."

"It's Doctor. And please, go ahead."

"I… Like… Gray! I've fallen for Gray!"

This was my plan to make you jealous, to try to get you to fall for me.

"…That's great. I wish you all the best."

Not even the slightest bit of jealousy or anger.

There'd never be any.

-

You never gave a damn about me, did you _Trent_?

I went home and cried for hours after I realized you'd never care about me.

But you never gave a damn thing.

You'd never give a damn thing.

But I still couldn't see why.

I was just too blind.

-

"Look, Trent, we need to talk."

You sighed, replying, "It's Doctor, Claire. And what do you need?"

"I… I…"

"Claire, please hurry up. I'm busy."

"I've fallen for you Trent."

"………"

"I just… Had to tell you."

"…Don't you have feelings for Gray?"

"No, I don't. I was trying to make you jealous. But I have to tell you. Please, Trent. Tell me now, honestly. Do you have any feelings for me, at all?"

"…Claire… I'm sorry, but…"

You didn't.

"I don't think of you that way."

You never thought of me that way.

"…I see. So… You could never love me back?"

"Well, I've never thought about it. Claire, I regard you as a friend, and nothing more."

Nothing more.

I'd never be anything more.

"…Is there… Someone else?"

"No. Of course not."

Of course there was.

Your work was your someone else.

It always would be.

"Tell me, Trent. Why can't you love me back?"

I knew I was starting a petty fight, but I needed to feel something.

I needed to know if you'd ever cared about me.

Sighing, you stared at me with your cold eyes, and went back to your work.

I was just a distraction.

Your work would always, always be number one.

I started walking towards the door, and just as I was leaving, you called out to me.

"Oh, and Claire?"

Were you going to say you loved me back?

"…Yes?"

"It's Doctor."

-

So yes, I'm sorry I fell for you.

Because I can't get over you.

It's been 2 years, and I haven't talked to you since.

It hurts, _Trent_, so much.

I tried my best to get you to love me, but it's now that I finally realize.

Your work will always be your life.

It's always been, and it always will be.

No matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to change that.

But I did everything I could, _Trent_.

But nothing was ever good enough.

I suppose nothing I do will ever be able to match up to your work.

I know now that it was your work that made you so cold.

People's lives depended on it, and that's why you always had to work so hard.

So yes, maybe your patients were important to you.

So why couldn't I be?

I suppose it's too late to ask now.

It's just too late for everything.

And now that I'm sitting here, thinking it through.

I've never been anywhere cold as you.

-

A/N: Thank you for reading! (: Yes, I did use some lines of Taylor Swift's Cold As You as inspiration and even in the story. It's not exactly my best story, and I didn't like it that much, but please, review! No flames please, but constructive criticism is very welcome. :D


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